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The Holiday Blues is not an uncommon experience and according to a 2023 poll from the American Psychological Association, nearly 90 percent of U.S. adults said they feel stress this time of year, whether due to financial constraints, missing loved ones, worries about family conflict at holiday celebrations, or other reasons.
The Holiday Blues are not the same as clinical depression or an anxiety disorder, although increased symptoms for those with these diagnoses is not uncommon during the holiday season. If you suffer from depression or anxiety, it is especially important for you to work closely with your doctor and therapist during this season – and keep taking your medication!
The Holiday Blues is a more temporary feeling of sadness, isolation, low energy or motivation; or feeling out of sorts during the holidays. Many times, these Blues are because of unrealistic expectations along with an abundance of activities that place significant pressure to ‘do it all’ while preparing for the family get togethers, the buying of presents, and the added financial burdens.
And don’t forget that with all these various forces we place on ourselves, we tend to not keep healthy routines going like regular exercise, walking, drinking plenty of water, getting enough sleep and taking time to just relax and refresh ourselves.
But we must not forget those in our midst grieving their lost loved ones. Certainly, if a loss has been recent, grief is still powerful and overshadowing one’s view of life overall; and holidays can be very tough! For those of us that have lost loved ones through the years, even long ago, those sweet memories of times in the past can bring a sudden sadness that can linger for hours and days.
The American Heart Association reports that 71% of respondents to their 2023 Survey said that their biggest regret after the holidays is that they did not take the time to relax and enjoy the season.
So, what can we do to fight the Blues as well as deal with any grief we are facing?
Here are just a few ways to help yourself:
• Set boundaries — this is primary! Don’t force yourself or think you must attend every holiday event. Pick out those that are most meaningful to you and don’t allow others to force you to attend something that is just too much for your schedule or will bring about a deluge of painful memories.
• Plan ahead — Pull out the calendar, whether you use a paper one or your phone or computer, and plan what you want to attend, when you need to buy groceries for special meals, what presents you will pick up on what days and where, and who you want to call, send a card to or visit. Although we all need to leave room for some healthy spontaneity, having a plan will give you a sense of control that is foundational to not feeling overwhelmed. Last minute rushing is stressful and creates tension, pressure, worry and frustration. So, organize yourself!
• Set realistic expectations — People tend to have their own view of how the holidays should be. When you hold tight to how things should be (and we are not talking here about right or wrong), you might want to look at why you have such a rigid perspective. These grand expectations when not met, can create within you a sense of great disappointment, frustration and often anger. The secret is to work on being flexible by focusing on what’s really important – being with family and friends, and your faith.
• Celebrating your faith — Regardless of your faith tradition, the immense joy and miracle of the Christ Child coming to earth for all people is the reason for the season. This often gets lost in all the other events, yet isn’t this what life is all about? Attending worship services and children’s pageants and caroling with friends or singing along with music playing on your TV or through your streaming service – these activities are the ones that allow us to center ourselves and be reminded of the source of life and what is truly important.
Do something for others: Performing a few random acts of kindness can be good for all of us and is a powerful reminder of what we have and how much others need. Donate gifts to families in need, serve meals to a senior group, take food and a gift to several shut-ins, or volunteer to help people at a nursing home make holiday crafts. And even when you’re in the midst of grief, you still have something to offer the world, and serving and giving to others always lifts a grieving person’s spirit.
