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Friday, November 22, 2024 at 9:17 AM

I thought she said, ‘ doughnut’

Out To Pastor

As hard as I try, and believe me I try, I don’t always hear correctly, especially regarding The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. I don’t always hear every word she says.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage once set me up and said, “Did you hear what I just said?”

“Oh, yes, my dear, I heard you clearly.”

Then she said, “Well then, what do you think I should do?”

At this point, I knew she was trying to set me up because she knew I wasn’t listening, but I had to respond. Believe me, I was nervous.

“Oh, my dear, I think your idea is splendid. Go with it.”

Then she got up, walked to the kitchen, and says, “Okay, then it’s broccoli for supper.”

The other day, she asked if I would go to the grocery store and pick up a few items.

I went to the store, checked off every item on the list, and went to the checkout line when I remembered she told me something after giving me the list. I tried to think of what it was, and then it came to me. She mentioned something about doughnuts. I think she wants me to get her some doughnuts.

I picked one, went to the checkout counter, paid for the items, and then got in my truck to go home.

I was very happy as I drove home because I usually don’t get things done exactly the way she likes them. I drove into the driveway, parked my truck, and went inside with the bag of groceries.

Walking through the door, I shouted, “Honey, I’m home.”

It wasn’t long until she entered the kitchen, and I heard her say, “What is this?”

I had no idea what she was talking about, but as she walked over to me, she was holding the box of donuts. “What is this?”

Looking at her with a big smile, I said, “Oh, my dear, those are the donuts you asked me to get. Remember?”

She went back into the kitchen. I heard her going through the grocery bag. Then she came back and handed me the grocery list she had given me and said, “Where do you see donuts on this list, I asked you to get?”

I was a little confused, so I said, “Don’t you remember as I was leaving you told me to get doughnuts?”

“I said no such thing. What I said was, Do Not get anything that is not on this list.”

Oh boy, was I in trouble? All I heard was the word “doughnut,” which got me into trouble.

Looking at her, I said, “Do you want me to return the donuts?”

That afternoon I was reading my Bible and came across a verse that encouraged me.

“To whom shall I speak, and give warning, that they may hear? behold, their ear is uncircumcised, and they cannot hearken: behold, the word of the Lord is unto them a reproach; they have no delight in it” (Jeremiah 6:10).

I believe it takes all of the Bible to make it the Word of God. I can’t cherry-pick what I want to believe. If I only hear part of the Bible, I will get it wrong and bear the consequences. All heresy is built on fragments of the Bible.


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