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A pretty pink cover, with its lined pages bound by a silver lock. It was cradled in the small arms of a lost little girl, not knowing what trials and struggles she would have to endure. Holding that journal, she held her best friend. In it, she confided her deepest thoughts and fears, and as the years went by, she would fill its pages. Every trauma, every bad that had ever happened- she wouldn’t speak a word, but only wrote.
There was no person who cared to listen, so she stayed alone with the one friend who would. That is until this girl found herself at the front door of Texas ChalleNGe Academy. Here she was with orange hair, with posture as straight as a board. She had never been in a place so full of life and full of people.
Determined to keep quiet, she hid behind her pages and did exactly as told, never to cause disturbance to the routine of silence. Only things were different here. Sooner rather than later, she was noticed for the effort she put forth into succeeding at every order. Sooner rather than later, TCA staff spoke words of encouragement, and sooner rather than later she began to gain confidence.
This girl with orange hair had started to feel and experience new things because for the first time in her life, she felt as though she had done something right. The ink on her paper began to write words of hope for the future. A dream that maybe, just maybe…she wasn’t so broken after all.
The question “Who am I?” continued to ring in her head, causing dark circles in the mornings. This girl, if you haven’t guessed yet, is me. I’m Cadet Corporal Hague, and this is a little bit of my story. When you hear “Para Military School”, you probably don’t imagine a hurt teen being counseled by staff. To be fair, I didn’t imagine it either.
But believe it or not, TCA has been the first place I’ve ever felt cared for. The first place someone listened to me. Here, my words on paper can and do come true. Here, I’m learning that I’m not so broken after all. I’ve had the privilege of becoming a Squad Leader, a Platoon Guide, and the Guide On for Echo platoon. Every trial here has allowed me to take a step back and see my positive qualities.
Whi le it’s sti l l a work in progress, I’m learning to process my negative emotions from past experiences. Most of all, I’m learning to trust more than just my journal pages. While it is a scary thing to change and trust people and God, I’ve learned that it is so much better to live life and feel every emotion. I’ve realized that God is with me through it all, and I am 100% (and then some) safe in His hands.
Without TCA, I would have never seen the way God works in my life, and I would have never seen my own potential. Although my journal is still my friend, I’m no longer just engulfed in paper dreams but am now surrounded by the reality of those dreams in the physical around me.
