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I found myself staring. Staring at what you may ask? The ceiling? The blue, cloud painted sky? The wildflowers sprinkled across the grass? Being at Texas ChalleNGe Academy, you don’t have a variety of things to look at, but no. That’s not what I was staring at. I was staring at my reflection, using the door of the washing machine as a mirror.
I happened to get called out one day, away from the loudness and negativity contained in a small bay. When I was looking at my reflection, I saw a girl I did not recognize. Let me paint the picture for you. Here was a girl with long straight hair, flowing down her shoulders. Her face not even touched with a hint of makeup. You’d call that natural beauty? I called it vulnerability. Though it isn’t important for the message of the story, the girl hidden behind the “I” and “she” is me, Cadet Spangler.
A lot of things crossed my mind, staring at a me I did not recognize. At the time it was about three months since I saw myself with my face bare and my hair down since we do not have mirrors in the bay. As I said previously, “You’d call that natural beauty? I’d call it vulnerability.”
At the time, I associated being vulnerable with weakness, and it haunted my thoughts. Looking at my reflection I saw my hair air a mess, face bare, all my imperfections put in the open. Yes, I did assume being vulnerable as one of my biggest weaknesses. My perspective changed the more I let my thoughts wander, since TCA has given me plenty of time to think.
TCA has really taught me to love myself. Love my imperfections, to love my personality, to love the person I am flourishing into. This generation teaches us to mold ourselves into someone we aren’t just to fit into the standards that are forever changing, designing a mask to fool and deceive others around us who just may be trying to do the same thing.
I learned to lower my mask, my guard even, and I really let myself free and want to inspire and empower others to do so as well. How did all of this start with me seeing my reflection in the washing machine? It started that way because I let myself see a “me” in a different light.
Change your perspective and it will change your ways. The moral of the story is that seeing the me in the reflection of the washing machine, seeing the person I thought I didn’t want to be, turned into a person I loved. I love the girl I saw in the reflection, a reflection of me.
