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Out To Pastor
Some weeks can be tough. I’ve had a few in my life that came unexpectedly and challenged my determination.
Last week was one of those weeks.
We had a serious “Bug Squatting” situation in our home. I really can’t determine what the bug was; all I can say is that it was.
The situation affected everyone in our family, including many of our friends.
I was the only one who did not suffer from it. Unfortunately for me, I chuckled within and was proud that I did not get hit by it. But everyone, including The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, had very serious accouterments, which I will not explain for various reasons.
The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage was in bed for one full day, which is rather unusual for her. She’s always up and doing something, but this time, she was down, and I won’t mention what she was doing.
It seemed to pass, and at that time, I was not affected. I very smugly thought that I was the only one who survived all of that “Bug Squatting” scenario.
Then, the unmentionable happened. It was a Friday night, and I had my first episode of diarrhea. It came and went rather quickly, and I had no other health problems. I didn’t have any sick stomach or even a headache. I thought I had escaped that problem.
Then Saturday morning started. All day long, I had diarrhea and spent most of my time in the bathroom. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I didn’t have any other symptoms, at least at that time.
I was afraid we would have to cancel the Sunday morning service, and I hate doing that with a passion.
By early afternoon on Saturday, I was fine. I didn’t feel sick anywhere and had no further problems—at least, that’s what I thought.
The plans were to go through Sunday just as planned.
At about 5 a.m. Sunday, before I woke up, I had an episode that made me race to the bathroom and caused some alarm. However, it was over in a moment, and there were no residues left in my body.
The best thing to do was to keep this a secret, especially from The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.
We got up Sunday morning as usual and got ready, and at the right time, we left for our church service at the assisted living facility that we minister to. Everything was going fine. As we drove, I took various sips of my coffee and felt great.
The service began as usual at 10 o’clock. We sang some hymns, and then it came time for me to preach the sermon.
For a variety of reasons, I sit in a chair behind a table as I preach. There is just a small group of people around me, so that makes a better situation.
It’s good I was sitting down because if I had not been, I would have been in serious trouble.
I introduced the sermon, read the Scripture, and then gave the opening prayer.
As I began the sermon, I began to feel a little funny. And I don’t mean laughing funny. It was a weird kind of funny like I’ve never had before.
It wasn’t long before everything became rather hazy for me. I became somewhat dizzy and couldn’t speak as I usually do.
Then it happened. Right before me, an Angel floated by, waving her hand. After that, I’m not quite sure what happened. I do know that one of the nurses came to take my blood pressure and found that it had dropped.
The recourse was to take me by ambulance to the hospital. At the time, I wasn’t quite sure what was happening.
Before I knew it, I was ushered into the hospital to the intensive care unit surrounded by medical professionals.
Pretty soon, I became a little more conscious of my surroundings and began to realize that I was in the hospital and everybody’s attention was focused on me. At the time I didn’t know if I should start preaching or start telling a joke.
The nurses left, and another nurse came in, and I knew exactly what she was there for. I greeted her by saying, “Hello, Nurse Dracula.” She then stuck my arm with needles and began to suck my blood out as fast as she could. It took her several times to find the right vein to get the blood she needed. I was suspicious about that. I just assumed she was getting even at me calling her Nurse Dracula.
I spent the rest of the day in the hospital. They put me in the thirdfloor room where my daughter is the head nurse.
They went through all their medical processes, even a CAT scan, and found nothing wrong with me. I did have the bug, whatever that bug is, and I did have a light infection that caused me to cough and sneeze quite a bit.
I learned one valuable lesson from this adventure. When somebody gets the bug, never assume that I won’t. Don’t laugh at the ones who do because those “Bug Squatters” heard me laughing and got their revenge on me.
A verse of scripture came to mind. “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise” (Luke 6:31).
This is the goal of my life.
